Anger is a natural response to feeling attacked, deceived, frustrated or being treated unfairly. The important thing to remember is that everyone gets angry sometimes. It is part of being human. Anger can be helpful at times as it can help us to identify problems or things that are hurting us, motivate us to change and help us defend ourselves in dangerous situations. Anger is only a problem when it is harmful to you or the people around you.
What does anger feel like?
“It feels like a ball of fire in my chest.”
“It feels like my fists are made of lead and clenched tight.”
“My rage is like a red mist.”
One of the key ways of changing angry behaviour is to become aware of that anger. So much of our lives can be spent on autopilot. How many times have you lost your temper and not really known why? Being present (or mindful) allows us to switch off the autopilot and begin to make choices.
Where does anger come from?
Many of us are struggling with busy lives and stress. If we don’t have a way of relieving stress and tension we can become like a pressure cooker ready to explode. That explosion is often anger.
So what can I do?
Maybe it is time to look at the way you let off steam. Do you even make time for yourself? Do you relax? Do you view relaxation as important and a healthy pass time? If not then this may be part of the explanation for angry outbursts. All emotions are valid and necessary even anger. It can be very revealing to become aware of how you feel about yourself after you lose your temper. Many people have an inner critical voice which only serves to make them feel worse. All to often we forget self compassion and kindness to ourselves.